Politics

It’s not the massage, stupid

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• Tuesday 8th May 2007

Consider the reporting about Randall Tobias, the first guy nabbed in the “massage” handjob hooker scandal now spreading through Washington.

What is it that we hear about Randall Tobias? We’re told that he’s a somewhat unfortunate, horny guy who’s just resigned as Administrator of the U.S. Agency for International Development (with the rank of Ambassador). That, for the most part, is the end of the story. Just a public servant who wanted a little personal service.

He’s the US’s international AIDS czar, in charge of keeping the cost of AIDS drugs high, so drug companies reap the maximum benefit from other people’s misery. He also oversees the removing of any and all mention of birth control and contraception from all aid provided by the US, and forcing all other agencies worldwide to do the same. But who is this person? Could he somehow be benefitting personally from his position (besides the “happy endings”)?

The Congressional Quarterly’s Political MoneyLine enlightens us in this interesting matter:

State Dept. Official Could Afford the Best Massage
5/1/2007

Randall Tobias, who resigned last Friday as the Administrator of the U.S. Agency for International Development (with the rank of Ambassador), could easily afford to have any massage he wanted. Tobias was the former CEO of Eli Lilly Company and received $1,847,563 in deferred compensation from the company in 2005, as well as $1,582,056 in defined benefit pension and $183,630 in deferred compensation and non-qualified benefits from insurance. He also received $869,311 from AT&T. Bloomberg LP reported his reported investments were valued from $50 to $217 million, not including his wife’s trust and other trusts.

Plus, he got all publicly righteous about prostitution (from Wikipedia):

As President Bush’s AIDS Czar, Tobias was responsible for setting policy detailing which countries would receive monies from various US agencies, how much, and what the rules governing assignment of those funds would be. As AIDS Czar, he discussed the rules in an interview with PBS’ FRONTLINE where he detailed a legal requirement that recipients of U.S. aid denounce prostitution:

“The Congress I think very appropriately has put into the legislation that created this program that organizations, in order to receive money, need to have a policy opposed to prostitution and sex trafficking. I don’t think it’s too difficult for people to be opposed to prostitution and sex trafficking, which are in fact two contributing causes to the spread of HIV/AIDS. I think when organizations initially became aware of that requirement, some organizations were concerned about what the implications of that might be, but we implemented that in the first year with non-U.S. organizations. We’re now implementing that requirement with U.S. organizations. And so far, I really know of no problems that we’ve had on the ground.”

So much for the sincerity and competence of Republican appointees.You best believe that where any sort of drugs are involved, the pharmaceutical industry has the right hack for the job. It’s the height of stupidity that success in business (and loyalty to Bush, natch) has become the sine qua non of qualifications for public office.

Obviously it has nothing to do with intelligence. Caught with his hand in the… Oh, never mind.